Man’s Dilemma

As men in our world today, we have lots of expectations on us. Because so many men in the past have screwed up and been really bad examples in the past, we’ve got to be better. How many of us feel the pressure to be better than our own fathers? To be better than the last boyfriend or husband? I’m betting that most of us feel the pressure to do better, and we have two conflicting messages that we hear all the time.

We’re supposed to be strong leaders who lift everyone else up. As men, many of us feel the pressure to not just take care of ourselves, but also take care of our wives, our families, our co-workers, and many more people. And, to be clear, I don’t think this is a bad expectation, we men should be a crucial part of our families and communities.

You need to be self-supported, tough, and low-maintenance. You can’t be a needy man, that’ something you have to outgrow. It isn’t enough to just take care of business, you need to do so without being dramatic or emotional, and just be a stable rock all the time. Do you see how impossible of a task that is? Even a robot requires some help and maintenance sometimes, and I’m no robot, and I need to rest and be recharged every day.

Of course, we all want to be strong men who don’t need help, but the reality is, sometimes we do. So, when we are out of options, what do we do? Where we turn? Unfortunately, many of us feel so much shame that we’re struggling that we turn to all sorts of vices that ultimately destroy us. Whether it’s sex, drugs, gambling, gaming, or something else, we’re looking to escape our lives in those moments. It feels impossible to turn, face life head on, and come out the other side.

I understand those feelings; I’ve had them myself, but they don’t work in the end. I’ve tried to pretend like I have it all together when I don’t, and I end up shooting myself in the foot in the end.

And, countless times in my life, I’ve survived only because I told someone just how rough life was at that moment. It was awkward, and uncomfortable, but it gave me a chance to get my life back. That’s why I love what I do, because I give men a chance to get their lives back, and to get themselves back.

Maybe you can relate to this, and if you do, I hope we get to sit down and chat about it soon.

Thank you for reading my practice’s blog, my library of all the random thoughts that would make a terrible book but make a halfway-decent blog. To request a session or contact me, head to my Scheduling page to get in touch with me today!